Welcome to my online journal,, 6:07 PM 12/15/2001 This was a very touching story,,,,, NY Firemen Carry Out Their Dead N E W Y O R K, Dec. 13 — Finally, he was able to carry out his son. He'd waited exactly three months, in honor of an unwritten code that endures even in these upside-down times. Be they sons or fathers or colleagues from the "house," firefighters carry out their own dead.But until Wednesday, Lee Ielpi, a retired firefighter who gave 26 years to the Fire Department of New York, could only wait. His 29-year-old son, Jonathan, was buried at the World Trade Center. Ielpi looked for him every day, digging with dozens of others at the 16-acre graveyard. On Tuesday, not long before midnight, just after he'd gotten home and poured himself a drink, the phone rang. They had found Jonathan's body in what used to be the subterranean shopping mall beneath the twin towers. And that made Lee Ielpi feel good, something he's not felt in a very long time. And so he and Brendan, the only son he has left, went to the site to meet Jonathan's colleagues from Engine 288 in Queens, to claim Jonathan's body early Wednesday morning. Even before Sept. 11, when 343 firemen vanished inside or underneath the collapsing skyscrapers, it was a time-honored practice: When a firefighter perishes in the line of duty, the body stays where it is until someone who knows him or her can come and quite literally — and carefully — pick it up. Often, colleagues come. Often, given the history of New York families begetting generations of firefighters, relatives come. After three months, the radio calls at ground zero don't come as frequently. When one does go out, riding the static of rescue workers' walkie-talkies, it can be a relief. "It feels like a tremendous weight has been taken off my shoulders," Ielpi said Wednesday. "They found my son." And then, with extreme politeness, he got off the phone before the tears came. A few days earlier, he had explained what kind of work faced recovery workers at the trade center. "You pick the person up, or a piece of a person, as best you can," said Ielpi, struggling to be accurate and to respectfully edit gory details. "We handle that person like that person is alive. That person deserves all the dignity we can give them." He wanted to make an important point. Firefighters deeply care about their own — but they also care about every other lost soul trapped in the rubbled hell. "We are looking for everyone. We treat everyone with respect," he said. When a firefighter's body, the first in about two weeks, was found on Dec. 5, Ielpi's reaction was: "It's a great, great day." Ielpi has a big heart. Tears come without much warning, and he has learned to let them come. On a night in late November, his overburdened heart fell in on itself. Across the trade center debris, someone yelled his name. "Lee, we found someone." He forced himself to walk to a hole dug by rescuers. He could see the body trapped below. He saw the firefighter "turnout" coat with yellow stripes. Ielpi took a hard breath and looked at the faces of his buddies. Five pairs of eyes stared back. No one spoke. The father of Jonathan Ielpi felt ill. "I didn't want to go down there if the name on the back of the turnout coat was Ielpi. I don't want to see it, you know?" But that was not the name. The coat said Sweeney. It belonged to Brian Sweeney, his son's best friend since school days. The 29-year-old man had reported to his friend's firehouse in Queens on Sept. 11 so they could work together for the day. They were like that. Young men who still played like boys, even on their day off, who thought running around on fire trucks and rescuing people was a very cool job. Both rolled when the trade center call came in. Both died. And so Jonathan's dad stepped into the hole and helped carry out Brian Sweeney, just as, on Wednesday, he'd help carry out Jonathan. "That's what we do," Ielpi said. "We carry out our own." —The Associated Press 6:19 PM 10/27/2001 well the hummingbirds are gone for the season. they'll be back in the spring. i've been tied up with job responsibilities lately. not much time for anything else. but i know that will change as soon as i get used to the pace. enough for now,,,, 4:49 PM 8/20/2001 been a looooooong time!!!!!! dang,,,where have i been? still watching hummingbirds,,,gotta new hobby: sequencing midi's. it's a lotta fun but also a lotta work,,but i'm thoroughly enjoying it,,gives me another outlet for my music. someday i hope to compose and sing one of my compositions. so far i've only done "instru mental" stuff. until next time,,,,,,,,,, 3:55 PM 8/19/2000 been a while since i've added something to my journal,,so here goes i've become obsessed with watching hummingbirds. i put up two feeders on my patio and within an hour of putting them up, i had at least 2-3 little hummers feeding. one little hummer i think is an aggressive male who has decided the feeders are his. he actually chases away "intruders". the other hummers wait until he's not around to feed. we've even named him "flutter". today, though, he hasn't been around as much and the other hummers who hang around have been having a field day. i wonder if one of them is female and perhaps he's "allowing" her to feed. i hope to attract many more hummers to my yard. 10:07 PM 11/30/1999 and i'm a little tipsy,,feels kinda good actually haven't been here in a long time 4:15 AM 11/19/1999 i went to comdex for the first time yesterday it's kinda like Disneyland - you can't see the whole thing in one day - you have to know what you want to see or do, browse a bit and then go home - unless you're there for one of those classes, which if you are, you paid an arm and a leg, or the company that sent you paid. i wanted to attend a live taping of a zdtv show but i missed that getting ready for Thanksgiving. we're going to spend it with the kid's dad in LA. i have rented a car online (for the first time also!) i'm hoping that by the time i get to the car rental place that all the economy cars will be gone and they will have to give me a SUV or something. i have pain in my upper left chest like around where my shoulder joint would be - i hope it's nothing serious i also have a swollen and painful finger on my right hand i don't know how that happened - arthritis?? hope not! 2:24 AM 9/4/1999 a little over 2 weeks with Atkins and I must say I'm pleased so far keyboard's not working right had to order a new one -- thank God for warranties trying to cut down on carbs is quite a trip actually it's just as hard as counting fat and calories but with better results I can actually button up my pants and tuck in my shirt or blouse,,never thought I'd do that again This all started with two of my Christian friends one of which last time I saw her she was 55 pounds heavier and now she looks great,,I can honestly say I was genuinely impressed And the other one, male, my reaction was the same I mean it's not like promises made by infomercials on T.V. or diet ads These are people I can see with my own eyes and let me tell you, they ARE a lot skinnier! I just wonder how much I can actually lose - kinda fun watching it happen Gives me something else to do besides ponder over my present situation,,,,,bye for now 6:14 PM 8/18/1999 started the Atkins Diet yesterday I would like to lose 50 but I'll settle for 30 Hope it works,,,,, 11:28 PM 8/13/1999 I went to see Inspector Gadget and the last half of Crown Affair,,,I can see why Gadget did not crash the box office but it will be a fun movie to watch on cable Crown Affair is very good but I didn't see it from the beginning,,that was my little outing for the week! 3:57 PM 8/11/1999 it's not that I don't want to be married,, I just don't want to be married to him!! I want my life back; I want my house back (it was mine before we got married); I want my situation back; I want my family back (my kids); and I can't have those things back until I get him out of my house,, I've never been so miserable in my life than with this man,,,, it was a stupid move to begin with,,to go against my own standards just for the sake of marriage,,,dumb mistake well now I'm trying to undo things and repair the damage,,,such a waste of two and a half years But I will fix it,,,because I'm a survivor baby!!! 3:32 PM 8/11/1999 There,,,I made a move and now I feel better,,,just one step closer to the end result,,tomorrow more steps 9:44 AM 8/11/1999 procrastinating again I have something to do that will change my life,, for the better even,,,and I keep putting it off,,,I need to find out why,,,probably because it will start a negative chain of events that will eventually lead to the positive result ,,probably best that I just go ahead and get it over with!!!! 3:05 AM 8/8/1999 why haven't i felt like writing much lately? maybe it's the stress i'm feeling from the events that are pending in my household i need to figure out a way out or just make it more bear-able for me is that being too selfish? i have nowhere to go to just get away for a moment or two,,,i mean without it costing an arm and a leg 6:38 AM 7/28/1999 the confederate flag is a symbol of racism and slavery; even though it is only a piece of cloth, it has gained contextual meaning through events in american history,,there's no changing that,,and every black person who looks upon that flag is reminded of that part of our history,,so to say it is symbol of southern pride says that southernors have pride in the racist events connected to slavery,,, 3:41 PM 7/22/1999 too sad to write today 1:05 PM 7/21/1999 closure finally 5:22 AM 7/20/1999 the voice of the curse: "well i kept y'all wondering if I still was with 'em, so i decided to strike a definite blow this time to more than verify my presence - not only will i take another one, but their mate and an "innocent bystander" as well,, and,,to make it saucier,, i won't even give ya the bodies to bury!!!" 2:23 PM 7/19/1999 about infidelity,,, you cannot make a person be true to you it is not done by force,,, the problem is the want,,,if someone wants to be unfaithful then no amount of calling, checking up, whoop and hollering about where ya been, why does it take so long, calling ya friends, inquiring about who everybody around you is,,,,,blah,blah,blah,,,, will make that person be true to you why would a person want faithfulness by force,,,isn't that paradoxical in nature? 7:55 PM 7/18/1999 i remember being in violin class school was almost over an announcement came over the PA about the President of the United States being shot next thing he was dead i remember spending that whole weekend watching stuff on TV learned a lot of stuff, like, what a rotunda is and phrases like "lying in state,," or "state of shock" were frequently used then there was Oswald getting shot but i missed the live telecast i remember there was no school that monday i came to know what "half mast" meant and why it's used those soldiers guarding that casket in the rotunda it amazed me how they would just slowly snap to attention ---- and then a little while later, just as slowly, snap to at ease ( i later learned that one of them was giving the order in a low voice, but it looked like they did it automatically) i remember that drum cadence over and over again during the funeral cortege(sp) and then that salute,,,,,, 8:25 AM 7/18/1999 it's as if the curse decided to make a definite stand so we know it's still there,,,and take our beloved "john john" 11:18 AM 7/17/1999 bummer 'bout JFK geez,,those guys are jinxed!! 8:21 PM 7/16/1999 got some new software in the mail,,,,PC Study Bible Version 3.0,,,anxious to get it but not anxious to install,,,first i have to remove version 2.0,,,then i have to get used to version 3.0's "new interface," Danita and Traviana (good friends) came by today,,they had a ball playing with the webcam - making faces and posing and stuff,,, got alot of cleaning done but still much more left to do,, one of these days i'll clean out the garage waiting on another package from AT&T,,,,,(a refurbished phone),, and another from ZDTV,,,(a t-shirt and a cap) been doing a lot of online ordering lately,,, i guess it's all good 4:18 AM 7/16/1999 up surfin around,,,looking at my favorite webcams thought it'd be different watching at this hour,,,but that's not why i'm up though,,,just woke up and decided to surf around i solicited the services of a lawyer online to help me get outta debt,,or at least be current all around anxious to see how it goes need to get some type of removable storage,,,soon as i do gonna reformat my hard drive - soon as i learn how why don't i just ask the internet? (duh) :) 8:15 PM 7/14/1999 don't let the "trying to acquire what i don't have" spoil the fun with the "what i already have",,, 1:33 PM 7/14/1999 as you can see this is done with notepad to keep it as un-fancy as possible. these are reflections of my daily thoughts, and past thoughts as well,,sometimes you just have a revelation about something,,,these are manifestations of how i've evaluated life on this planet,,,enough rambling read and enjoy